


Beating Heart

by cloudnymphs



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, and let me emphasize angst with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-27 20:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21398053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnymphs/pseuds/cloudnymphs
Summary: When Madara nearly dies defending Hashirama at a Kage Summit, Hashirama is forced to confront feelings he believed he buried  in the past. So much of their lives have changed over the years, yet Hashirama's love for Madara is something he could never simply abandon.orMadara's near death experience opens up feelings of the past for Hashirama.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara, Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito
Comments: 33
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So before y'all read this ends happy with hashimada. i remember when i was younger and would read fics like this where they weren't together to begin with and hashirama was married, i'd be upset bcs like they didn't get together at the end and i read all that unrequitted love for nothing and my heart coudln't take it. so i didn't like those stories growing up and i know y'all wouldn't either so that's that. there IS a plot twist at the end but just read this knowing hashimada is the end game. like there is no maybe or looking at it from a different perspective they get together in the end lmao.

During their time on the battle field, Hashirama had always praised Madara for his sharp perception. No one, not even the most skilled Shinobi could knock Madara off his guard. Yet, times were different back then and Madara had expected enemies from every corner. He had slept with one eye open, near daring a rival shinobi to strike him only so he could have the glory of taking their life at the climax of the battle.

Yes--now times were different and the last place Madara expected to be attacked was behind friendly lines. 

Except, he was not quite the one whom a group of rogue Iwagakure shinobi were attempting to kill. That much was obvious. While Madara was an important figure in Konoha, he was no where near as important as Hashirama or Mito. And a Kage summit, where all the village leaders and their family's were invited, was perhaps the most logical place for assassin to strike. 

Madara didn't know what prompted him to, without a strategy in mind, jump in front of a fatal blow and only after, contemplate on how he would kill Hashirama and Mito's would be assassins. His plan--burning them a crisp--had worked but it was only after did he, Hashirama and near everyone else who was present at the summit noticed blood pouring from Madara's chest and within seconds, he collapsed. 

Now hours later, after the initial frenzy and of course, returning to Konoha did Hashirama find himself fully able to process the situation. 

It was much easier to see him now, as he gazed upon Madara's motionless body upon a hospital bed. Madara was breathing, his bandaged chest rising up and down but he had not woken from the attack. The Uchiha medics did the best they could and now it was just a waiting game. 

Hashirama had begged and pleaded with them to heal Madara however, he was declined. It was a delicate situation, and the Uchiha were still somewhat distrusting of the Senju. They had only allowed him to come and visit when the procedures were done. 

No one knew if he'd survive the night and all were preparing for the worst. Hashirama decided to stand vigil--as a clan leader, as the Hokage as a friend and now...as a...

"Brother." The voice, calm and considerate came from Tobirama. Hashirama jumped, somewhat shocked that his brother had followed him this far into Uchiha territory. 

"Yes." He turned around, his expression visibly annoyed. "What is it?"

"You're been requested to return to the Kage tower. There is still believed to be a plot against your life. Lady Mito is safe, it's time for you to come as well." Tobirama wasn't malicious in his words as he did care for his brother, but he couldn't hide his distaste at the given situation. He gazed past Hashirama, at the motionless body laying upon the bed. 

"Madara...is he?"

"They don't know if he'll make it through the night." Hashirama whispered. "He was badly injured, protecting my family..."

Tobirama joined his brother's side, his red eyes gazing over the once powerful and feared Uchiha. Now he looked weak and tired.

"Let us go now brother...we can return later. Right now your clan, your wife and unborn child need you. We almost lost you today." 

It was in that instant, Hashirama felt himself rocked back into the cruel reality he had created for himself. Perhaps for a few moments, he forgot of his marriage, his clan, his child and his position of Hokage as well. He had lost count of the hours he'd spent in the Uchiha compound hoping for his friend to wake up.

Hashirama mentally cursed himself and tore away from the infirmary, ignoring the countless bowing Uchiha who parted for him as he moved past. 

Damn it! He cursed himself again as the realization of the situation just dawned upon him. It wasn't simply that he'd let his guard down that angered him. Hashirama had for months, attempted to distance himself and his heart away from Madara. No one could ever be clear of what he and Madara had in the past, yet it was enough to nearly tear him from his duties as a clan leader and a Hokage. And by no margin was he blaming Madara because he would, no matter what, always love Madara.

As a child, he was naive enough to believe that perhaps one day, he and Madara would be together forever and he, at the end of the day allowed that to dictate how he molded the village. Yet he was no longer a boy, and things had changed drastically. If there was anything he regretted, it was the way he foolishly and perhaps selfishly, promised Madara more than he gave him.

It terrified Hashirama to think that Madara would die then. Only he knew how his friend felt, the unspoken heart break that existed between them that , only after a few months of Hashirama's marriage with Mito, had begun to take a negative toll on Madara. Madara of course, well versed in the art of suffering in silence, had endured the pain quietly. Only those who knew Madara well enough, understood how he felt.

Now Hashirama was uncertain of his own feelings. Those emotions he had worked so hard to bury seemed to be resurfacing, and Hashirama did not know what to do to stop them. 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Madara had done many foolish things in his life yet never had he carelessly run in front of a blade. Even in the past, when he protected Izuna, never would he run into a fight without a strategy. 

Well, it didn't need to be said that his love for Hashirama, would one day serve as his downfall and Madara feared the kage Summit would mark that day. He couldn't stop himself though, it was as if his body just moved at the mere possibility of Hashirama being killed. Madara hated that no matter how many years had passed and what had changed in his life, he would still lose his senses whenever Hashirama came into play.

He hated that, despite the betrayal that had torn them apart, he still loved Hashirama. 

It was foolish and Madara hated himself for it every day.

He hated the way his heart would skip beats when he saw Hashirama during clan meetings of village events, he hated the way that he'd fall into deep trains of thought and for a few moments, ponder on what a life of marriage and family would be like for he and Hashirama.

In fact, it was easy for him to conjure vivid images of a home, children and their lives together. Even if he was just dreaming, or alone in his thoughts, Madara allowed himself these indulgences for when reality hit him, or when he woke up in the morning, he'd be alone. 

He'd be met with harsh reality the moment he saw Hashirama hand in hand with Mito (whom Madara did not hold an ounce of resentment for. His anger was as always, directed to Hashirama who betrayed him in the first place), or even walking with his brother....addressing his clan....All things that signified that Hashirama had dutifully moved on with his life, leaving Madara behind.

With all that in mind, Madara swore he'd never make his feelings for Hashirama public and had for months, years even , succeeded at that.

...Until that Summit...

Now Madara found himself wedged between life and death--heaven and hell. For hours on end it was nothing but darkness, pain and more darkness. 

To Madara it was hard for him to feel anything but peace after those swords had collided with him. He had perhaps in the past, feared death, yet now it was something he secretly longed for. It was hard pushing through when he was alone. Even his clan knew him as a recluse, only seeing him at meetings and village gatherings. He did not prefer loneliness, but given his life he had no choice and frankly, he tired of it. 

Wake up...Now that was odd. After being in this abyss for what seemed like years, he heard a distant yet familiar voice seemingly out of no where...

But that was impossible. The voice, though familiar, greatly resembled Izuna's and Izuna was...dead.

Wake up brother.

The voice grew louder and even more annoying to Madara. He enjoyed the peace and serenity...he didn't want to wake up. Not now, not in a million years....

Yet, he opened his eyes, and was nearly blinded by the lights hanging overhead. It took a few moments for everything to come back to him, but he remember where he was and how he had gotten here.

And despite the mixed feelings toward the situation, he had survived. Instincitvely, Madara attempted to move around, his dull eyes gazing at the surroundings of the infirmary. Next, he attempted to sit up but the pain in his chest was too great so instead, he remained still. 

Like always when he woke he felt empty and lonely. 

There were whispers from some medics entering the room, sighing in relief that their clan leader had survived. Yet, not all was well. Madara felt that things would change, drastically, his life wouldn't ever be the same.

"Your wounds are going to take time to heal in time but, there are some things we need to discuss with you." A medic spoke. "About your future as a Shinobi."

Madara's chest tensed at that, but he understood, and realized getting worked up wouldn't do anything to help him. 

"Lord Hokage offered to heal you but we denied him, like you requested." The medic spoke. "I'll return later to discharge you." 

The conversation was brief as were most with his "fellow" clansmen.

The medic had eventually left and Madara remained trapped in his own thoughts. Not sure whether to be fortunate he survived, or mournful he didn't die, he stayed silent. 

Perhaps dying would have made things easier, or perhaps that was the affect loneliness had on a tired soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW T-T. Thank you for all the comments / discussions on the previous chapter. Y'all, that made me so happy so thank you so much. If you like this chapter, please leave a comment and kudos. I love your feedback, honestly and it really gives me the push to continue. Thank you so much!

Hashirama listened quietly to the faint heart beat within Mito's belly, sighing in relief as it became consistent. 

"The assassination attempt startled you and the baby, I can tell." Hashirama spoke quietly, his ear lingering on Mito's swollen stomach for a few moments before he rose and took his seat across from her in the sitting room. He caught wind of Mito's frigid expression, and eventually she closed her eyes, nodding just a bit.

"I was worried you had gotten hurt. I hadn't seen you since the attack. I thought you were..." She responded. "I assume you were in the Uchiha compound. Madara--he saved us. Is he alright?" 

Hashirama hated that his face visibly changed at the mere mention of Madara's name. Mito seemed to catch this as well, and simply she exhaled , looking outside of the window.

"He didn't have to save you, or me." She replied. "But he did and for that, I'm grateful. I heard the injury was lethal...did you offer to heal him?"

Hashirama nodded. "His clan wouldn't allow me to." He responded quietly. "They aren't sure if he's going to survive the night." Those words were even more painful coming out of his lips, and even Mito sent a look of sympathy his way.

She was no fool, and knew just how much Madara meant to Hashirama--in every way. She had known for some time now, even before she discovered she'd been chosen to marry the First Hokage. During clan meetings she had seen the way they interacted. She'd seen the stolen touches and glances when no one was looking, and the way, someone even as cold as Madara, softened up when Hashirama came near him.

Now, it was no doubt that things were detached between the two. When the Senju clan intervened in whatever Hashirama and Madara had, by means of showing their true intentions toward the Uchiha and inevitably, forcing a marriage between the Senju and their Uzumaki cousins, Madara had indeed, grown distant. He was very short with Hashirama now. Those lingering touching and gazes, non existent. He was civil at best to Hashirama and Mito, but that is where it stopped. Any thing left between he and Hashirama had dissolved like ash, and Mito could see the toll it took on her husband. 

Hashirama nor Mito were particularly keen on marriage yet, as the eldest and heir of their clans, it was no question of their union. 

For Mito more so than Hashirama. 

Being an Uzumaki and by extension, a Senju woman brought status but also little control of ones life. As a child she was raised to be the perfect wife and mother, as she knew she would eventually be married off to one of her cousins. She expected it, as a side affect of nobility. Yet, what she didn't expect was marrying someone who was already in love with another. That made things complicated and well--sad. Mito had gone into this marriage knowing that there was no love to begin with, but it was something she always wanted. She would never ever blame Hashirama for not opening his heart to her however, it was hard to see what love could do to someone and know she could never have it.

"Madara is strong." Mito's voice towered through her own thoughts. "He will survive, you and I both know." Her heart fluttered when she saw the look of relief on his face.

"Mito, thank you." Hashirama responded. "For...for everything. I know this isn't easy for you, and I know I'm not the husband you wished for--" 

"Please Hashirama, it's alright. We were paired to do a duty, to keep close ties within our clan and produce and heir. We can forsake love, for our own personal health. But in every since of the word, we are doing our 'duty'." There was a bit more silence as the two took a glance outside of the window. It was raining now, piquing Hashirama's interest slightly. "Let's go to bed then. Night has fallen and I'm certain you are exhausted from your ordeal." Mito rose, instinctively reaching her hand toward Hashirama.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

There was not much that could bring Madara distress. Not much in battle that was. 

After all, he had survived the night, pulling through where no one believed it was possible. The medics had relayed to him that, despite the severity of his injuries he would heal and live a long life thereafter. Yet, that was not all they had conveyed to him and his wounds did not go without leaving an everlasting mark.

For at that moment, Madara felt a tightening in his chest that not even the relief of surviving could lessen. If he wasn't sitting behind his desk, he felt as if he'd fall through the floor in that instant.

"What?" He had asked the medic, his usual firm voice threatened to break in front of a fellow clan member. "Please...please repeat that."

"Your injuries were far to severe for us to properly heal them. You have survived the night and will live a long life as a civilian, but the injuries you have obtained were far to great. I'm sorry, but you cannot continue on the life as a Shinobi." The medic sighed. 

"Oh..." Madara replied, so casually, not daring to show his true emotions. "Is that all...?"

"Lord Hashirama sent a message last night, requesting the status of your condition. Is it okay if we update him?"

Madara paused for a while, staring rather confusingly at the medic. "What do you mean? How did he know of my condition in the first place. I thought I requested that he didn't heal me---"

"He did more than ask if he could heal you. He followed us here and stayed with you overnight, only leaving when his brother sought him out."

"He was here, with me?" Madara whispered, just loud enough for the medic to hear.

"For hours and never left your side." Madara gasped, attempting to hide the quivering of his voice until he finally got the strength to turn to the medic and nod.

"Yes, tell him of my condition. Let him know that I am alive."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Hashirama had somewhat of a mechanical reaction when the Uchiha messenger made it to the Hokage tower.

"Ma-"

"Is Madara alright?!" Hashirama beat him to it, not even caring how awkward it was. 

"Um--yes." The messenger responded nervously. "He survived and has given you permission to see him, if you wish." Hashirama stood so quickly, nearly knocking his chair down, causing the young woman to jump. If he wasn't in so much of a rush, he would have apologized. However, he had absolutely no sleep the previous night, his thoughts on Madara and what he would do if his old friend died occupied his thoughts. 

"Please, please take me to him." 

"Yes Lord Hokage, this way." The walk to the Uchiha compound was by now second nature to Hashirama though he was silent and followed behind the Uchiha woman leading him through various alleys, roads and side walks that he was already familiar with. Then finally, they made it to Madara's residence where customarily, the young woman bowed before departing.

"He is through there."

"Thank you." Hashirama responded, quietly walking through the threshold.

"I'm out here." The voice was subtle, coming from one of the outdoor gardens. Hashirama was quick to follow it where eventually he met Madara just outside, standing above the docks of one of the Koi ponds. He turned to face Hashirama, his eyes dull until finally, he made way to properly greet him by bowing slightly.

"Good afternoon Lord Hoka--"

"You know you don't have to do that." Hashirama approached him. "Your injury, it's healed."

"Yeah." Madara said quickly. "Like it never happened." 

There was something odd in his voice, as if it was clear he was not being truthful but, Hashirama did not press forward. Instead he gazed at Madara in silence, only breaking the stare when Madara turned away.

"I heard you were watching me while I was sleeping. Is your family alright?" Madara asked. "I mean Mito and your baby...that was a ruckus and I know--"

"She's fine. The baby is fine." Hashirama joined Madara's side, their hands softly brushing against each others. "I'm just glad you survived. Madara, I am eternally grateful for you saving my family but please, do not do anything that selfish again."

"It was my duty as a Shinobi to protect my Hokage." Madara shot an ugly look Hashirama's direction. "Why would you ask me to do any less?"

"You know why." Hashirama didn't mean for his tone to sound so cold but it did. 

Madara turned away. "Hashirama, you should go home." He suggested, his eyes gazing back at the fish. "Now is not a good time...I want to be alone. I only invited you here to see that I was alive, you've seen." 

Hashirama chanced placing a hand on Madara's shoulder, turning Madara to face him before speaking again. "You've been alone for such a long time, I'm surprised you haven't tired of if."

Madara lips, if even for a second quivered and carefully, he removed Hashirama's hand from his shoulder. 

"And I wonder whose fault that is...."

Hashirama exhaled, his own heart fluttering in the heat of the moment. "Madara I'm sorry I shouldn't have--"

"No, you shouldn't have." Madara looked toward Hashirama, his eyes sorrowful as he exhaled. "You shouldn't have come or even visited me in the infirmary. Hashirama, whatever we had in the past...it's over. And things like this, like you visiting me...it has to stop, no matter what." Madara turned his whole body to face Hashirama, his expression filled with poison. "Saving you and your family...was the last amount of love for you I care to share. After this, we should stop seeing each other."

"Madara, I can't--"

"Stop." Madara held his hands up in defense. "You are married with a child on the way. I cannot keep denying myself sanity or happiness for you. You didn't wait for me, in fact, you abandoned me--"

"I had no choice. It was--it was--"

"It was necessary for your clan I get it! I understand, I do." Madara admitted. "Even then, you still do this. You still try to act as if there is something--and it breaks my heart Hashirama. You have no idea what defending you and your wife did to me--" He stopped for a moment, and shook his head. "Please, go home Hashirama. Let this be the last time." 

Madara extended a hand, pushing him away gently. "Please leave me--"

Hashirama took hold of Madara's hand softly, not pulling on it but not releasing. He then stepped forward and tenderly, without wasting a moment leaned in and brushed his lips upon Madara's. Madara did not return the kiss, nor force him away. He let Hashirama finish his deed before looking him in the eyes in a dejected manner. 

"Leave me..." He practically begged. "please." 

It was then, Hashirama truly felt the severity of his actions. Not just this kiss, but everything leading up to this moment. His energy was stagnant and something had greatly changed about him.

"I'm sorry Madara." Hashirama spoke, genuinely but he could already see the damage had been done.

"Just go." Madara responded, turning away from Hashirama. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to highlight like everything, like everyone's perspective. No one is happy lol, but some people are sadder than others. Anyway, please please leave feedback and tell me what you think. I love talking to y'all it makes me really happy! Have a good weekend!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Forgive my blunt message before but I think it was important to mention. not just to y'all but it's also going to be a way for me to continue the story because like I said, I'd read stories like this in the past only for them not to get together and it would break my heart. Anyway, please tell me what you think and don't forget to leave kudos!


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